


Chad's Dilemma

by dreamcreep



Category: The Two Princes (Podcast)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27259879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamcreep/pseuds/dreamcreep
Summary: Set during season 3, episode 6 of the podcast. Rupert loses Amir to grief and Despair.
Relationships: Amir/Rupert (Two Princes Podcast)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	Chad's Dilemma

“You're more like your father than you could ever know, Chad.” 

The voice of Despair reverberated through Amir’s body to tie a tight knot of guilt in his stomach. The associated nausea was so ordinarily familiar that he maintained his outward composure with ease. He knew very well that what he had done as Chad was nothing short of barbaric. Contrary to Rupert’s genuine assertions, cold-hearted selfishness should never be forgiven. As such, Amir had done anything he could think of to make sure the kingdom would be safe; from himself or otherwise.

“That's not who I am. My name is Amir!” he challenged, raising his sword in a triumphant declaration. He wouldn't let Despair trample his growth as a king, a husband, or even as a person. Chad didn't have the intense commitment to the health and safety of the Heartland as Amir did. He was thoughtless and only valued his own life, quite unlike Amir. Of course, Amir was a strong leader whose main goals were to protect and serve. 

“My apologies. I thought only Chad would sacrifice others for the sake of his agenda. I stand corrected; that is an ‘Amir Thing’,” Despair concluded.

He abruptly released his grip on Darling’s collar as he became conscious of the way his knuckles dug into his neck. Darling quickly stumbled towards Rupert, who had only been able to stare in shock. 

Amir watched Darling cower as if he were the monster. He might as well have been, he realized. Everything he'd worked for was only a temporary lapse in judgement to cover his own ass. 

“Face them,” Despair commanded. “Look at all of your remaining people who know exactly what you were going to do with that life in your hand. Everyone's lives are yours to use at your disposal aren't they, Chad? They exist simply so you can pick them up and hurl them at your problems. If Darling wasn't the answer then surely, you'd hunt for anyone else.” 

“Amir would never.” Rupert tried, diffidently. He wanted to argue, but he focused on the shape that Despair shifted into. Everyone had recognized it as a sort of door, which was noticeably different from the usual abstract form they had become accustomed to.

“Amir has, Amir is, and Amir will. Chad and Amir remain one and will remain corrupt. Unless, “ the door opened,” he does the right thing.”

The worthless king looked up to the monster as if it knew who he was better than he knew himself. It would give him one last opportunity to solve the real problem: himself. The wretched man was always the fuel to every flame that threatened the people he loved. Everything was always his fault and he was being offered an actual solution. He was garbage to be taken out.

Rupert had hoped that Amir had a plan, but the determined face he'd worn for so long already cracked and revealed the dread that he had been harboring for months. Rupert could only assume that this was Despair’s doing. Darling, none the wiser, raised his voice along with his hopes as he yelled for Amir. There was no reaction. His full attention was on the open door directly in front of him.

There wasn't actually anything to see. Amir was only staring at a silent void, seemingly deprived of all matter. After little consideration, he started walking toward the unnaturally inviting entrance.

“That's right,” Despair taunted. “Isn't this so much better than destroying lives? You're no help to anyone out here.”

“Yes,” Amir whispered honestly.

His husband, in complete surprise, let out an exasperated cry, “What are you doing?!” He tried to sputter some sort of explanation as to why Amir shouldn't gleefully stroll into Despair, but the notion that it was necessary to do so had rendered him speechless. There was neither a fight nor a combatant speech like Rupert had expected from him. The Amir he knew would defy the odds and at least put up a good fight. He had completely underestimated Despair’s ability to gut one’s own soul to use as a weapon.

-

Amir took his first steps into the abyss, ignoring the muffled protests from the person he loved most in the entire world. It was for the best, after all. Although there was nothing to see, the pitch-black he could still hear the door softly close behind him. He could also feel the crippling cold that clawed and bit at his skin. He supposed that while he was there, he could try to explore his surroundings or lack thereof. He trudged along the smooth and solid ground as best as he could, but he had to clutch his body to still his shuddering. The freezing atmosphere doubled him over to the point where his head was approaching the ground. 

Amir stared at himself on the ground’s reflective surface. He observed a tired man who’d gone on for far too long. The light introspection had reaffirmed that he was exactly where he needed to be.

The more he leered at his shivering body, the clearer he seemed to hear his name being heaved from multiple unnamed speakers like a sickness. He knew he was a sickness. Amir wasn’t particularly concerned about the voices themselves so much as where they came from. Floors don’t talk, as far as he knew. He held his breath, though, when he focused on a specific voice.

He shot up, alarmed. There was no possible way that it was truly Rupert, Amir thought. He took a few deep and shaky breaths and studied the surface closer. Again, he came across his own face and more murmurs, but no one was there. He didn’t have the strength to sigh in relief but he would have if he could have. He was glad the cold stole his breath from him; he didn’t deserve it anyway. He thought about how scum such as himself should have been peeled from the earth and how it was much too long that he had lived comfortably. 

The more he contemplated, the louder the voices got. Eventually, Amir recognized his mother, Rupert’s mother, as well as Rupert himself, all gagging his name in various phrases. 

Most clearly, he heard his previous devotee and beacon of love, “I fucking hate you, Amir.”

He knew Rupert wasn’t there, but his voice was too real. He could hardly shed any tears before the dangerously low temperature snatched the moisture from his eyes.

“I can’t believe you tricked me into thinking you were a good person.”

As Amir gave in to the delusion, the floor slowly softened and his body began to sink.

“I actually loved you, Amir!” Rupert’s voice trembled as it tried to hold back its pain. Amir could feel the shame in Rupert’s voice and the floor started to warp into a completely different consistency. It reminded him of the honey Rupert would drizzle on his danishes every morning. 

He’d heard many others, too, but they started overlapping each other. It didn’t matter to Amir, though. What he had managed to make out was enough to sink him to his knees. 

“I looked up to you.”

“You are undoubtedly my son; you’re just like your father.”

“You let me down, Amir.”

“I trusted you.”

The goop morphed into a much thinner liquid, making way for Amir’s entire body. The voices became louder and they all impatiently interrupted each other. It was as if there was an entire kingdom of pain and disappointment that grabbed him and pulled him down farther into the dark liquid. The voices yelled at him, demanding to be heard. Refusing to be ignored.

“I hate you!”

“I loved you!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

They were rightfully angry and Amir needed to hear them. He deserved nothing more than to have everything he’d done to them regurgitated back at him.

“I thought you cared!”

“I thought we meant something to you!”

“I never thought you’d turn out to be such a steaming pile of shit, but somehow, I always knew you had it in you.”

He barely picked up a voice that sounded like his own, but his mouth hadn’t moved. The deafening voices had almost entirely engulfed him. They had decided to scream to swallow his body whole. 

Amir could swim, but no matter how much his body wanted to retreat, his corrupted mind’s control remained intact. His body thrashed about in the sea of incoherent anguished wailing. His head had developed the most horrific splitting ache he had ever felt and he wailed along with the voices. His lungs had squeezed as hard as they could but they were no match for the torturous screeches of agony that he had caused. 

With his final breath, they all shrieked together. Amir had prepared his mind for what his body would suffer through and thought it little in comparison to all the pain he’d contributed to. 

At last, everything stopped. Amir felt nothing, heard nothing, and did nothing. His mind was empty and his body was a useless object. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, this is exactly what he’d been looking forward to for a very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> hi  
> this is my first fic yikes


End file.
